It Is Okay to Take Care of You: Self-Care After Pregnancy Loss
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You are allowed to feel good. Even now. Even in this season. Especially in this season.
The Self-Care Nobody Gives You Permission For
After a miscarriage or pregnancy loss, the world expects you to grieve quietly and recover quickly. What it rarely tells you is that self-care is not a luxury during grief — it is a lifeline.
Research published in the journal Midwifery found that women who experienced pregnancy loss reported significantly higher rates of anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress than the general population — with symptoms that can persist for years without proper support and intentional self-care practices.
Source: Midwifery Journal — midwiferyjournal.com
According to the March of Dimes, up to 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage, and the emotional aftermath — grief, guilt, shame, identity loss, and physical exhaustion — is profoundly underserved by the medical community. Most women are discharged with a follow-up appointment and little else.
Source: March of Dimes — marchofdimes.org
But here is what I want you to know: taking care of yourself is not betraying your grief. It is honoring your survival.
Why Self-Care Feels So Hard After Loss
If you have found yourself thinking any of these thoughts, you are not alone:
- "I don't deserve to feel good right now."
- "How can I enjoy anything when my baby is gone?"
- "Taking care of myself feels selfish."
- "I don't even know who I am anymore."
These thoughts are common, valid, and also — not the truth.
A study from Tommy's Pregnancy Charity found that women after pregnancy loss frequently experience a loss of identity, a disconnection from their bodies, and a deep sense of unworthiness that makes even basic self-care feel impossible or guilt-inducing.
Source: Tommy's — tommys.org
God does not ask you to punish yourself to prove your love for your baby. He asks you to steward the life He gave you — and that includes your own.
"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit?" — 1 Corinthians 6:19
One Thing That Helped Me: Getting My Hair Done
I want to be real with you the way I always am.
There were days after losing Avayah when I did not want to do anything. Getting dressed felt like too much. Leaving the house felt impossible. But one thing I kept doing — even when I did not feel like it — was getting my hair done.
Not because I felt beautiful. Not because I had somewhere to be. But because it was one less thing to think about. It was a few hours where someone else was taking care of me. It was a small act of showing up for myself when everything in me wanted to disappear.
And sis — it helped.
Feeling good and looking good are part of our healing journey. It is okay to love on yourself even when you do not feel worthy of love right now. God still takes care of you. It is okay to take care of you too. Do not feel guilty about it.
The Hidden Danger in the Braiding Hair Industry
When I started getting my hair braided regularly, I became more intentional about what was going on my body — including what was being applied to my scalp and hair.
What I found was alarming.
A landmark study published in the Journal of Exposure Science & Environmental Epidemiology found that many synthetic braiding hair products contain harmful chemicals including alkaline lye coatings, pesticides, flame retardants, and endocrine-disrupting compounds that are absorbed through the scalp during wear.
A 2023 report by Breast Cancer Prevention Partners tested 10 popular braiding hair brands and found that 9 out of 10 contained at least one chemical of concern, including formaldehyde-releasing preservatives and phthalates — chemicals linked to hormonal disruption, reproductive harm, and increased cancer risk.
Source: Breast Cancer Prevention Partners — bcpp.org
For women who are already navigating hormonal imbalance after pregnancy loss, this matters deeply. The last thing your body needs during healing is additional toxic chemical exposure disrupting your endocrine system.
A 2021 study in the American Journal of Epidemiology found that Black women who used hair products more frequently had a higher risk of hormone-related health conditions, partly attributed to the chemical load in many hair care and styling products marketed to Black women.
Source: American Journal of Epidemiology — academic.oup.com/aje
Why I Switched to DossoBeauty — And Haven't Gone Back
When I started researching non-toxic braiding hair, I found DossoBeauty — and this is my 4th time purchasing from them. I do not plan on going anywhere else.
DossoBeauty was founded by a young Black woman who was passionate about creating hair products that are safe, clean, and good for the women who wear them. The brand was built on the belief that Black women deserve access to hair care that does not compromise their health — a mission that resonates deeply with everything Miracle Mama Mindset stands for.
Here is what I personally love about DossoBeauty hair:
- ✨ Lightweight and bouncy — does not feel heavy or stiff
- 🌿 No chemical smell — a huge benefit of clean non-toxic ingredients
- 💪 Gentle on the scalp — no irritation or itching
- ❤️ Owned by a young Black woman — our purchase supports her vision
- 🔒 Committed to cleaner, safer formulations for women who deserve better
When you are in a season of healing, every choice you make for your body matters. Choosing non-toxic hair is one small, powerful way to honor the temple God gave you.
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Use code MIRACLEMAMAMINDSET at checkout
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Permission Granted, Sis
I want to leave you with this:
You are allowed to get your hair done. You are allowed to take a bath. You are allowed to buy something that makes you feel beautiful. You are allowed to laugh. You are allowed to have a good day. None of it means you have forgotten your baby. None of it means you are not grieving. It means you are still here — and still worth caring for.
God sees you in this season. He is not asking you to fall apart to prove your love. He is asking you to let Him hold you — and sometimes, He holds you through a fresh set of braids, a non-toxic product that honors your body, and one less thing on your mind.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." — Proverbs 31:25
With love,
Destini Miller
Founder, Miracle Mama Mindset
Heaven Mama to Avayah 🤍
Sources:
March of Dimes — Miscarriage: marchofdimes.org
Tommy's Pregnancy Charity — Emotional Recovery: tommys.org
Breast Cancer Prevention Partners: bcpp.org
American Journal of Epidemiology: academic.oup.com/aje